Have you ever been alone?

No-one makes me angrier than you.
Seriously, hearing anything you say about me with your stupid fucking ridiculous ways make me shake with rage. And no-one else can make me do that you know?

You’re insane. You are not the same person you were a year ago. Right now, you’re just an un-educated giggly fuck who sits around all day in their dead end job making minimum wage and living your life on the internet talking to your amazingly un amazing boyfriend. Seriously.

You’re not tough, so stop hiding behind other people, and stop hiding behind things that you’re not. Just because you come from a place that is known for being faggots and dickheads doesn’t mean you have to slump down to their level.

You are not clever, and you are annoying and inappropriate. You have no acceptable social skills. And yes, I know that what I’m doing with my life isn’t getting me far, but right now, I’m smiling.

You’re the only thing dragging me down and it makes me so happy to put you in the past. There’s a reason why they call it MY life. Because it’s the only thing that I ever really have full control over. I give up caring about you. I’m taking my own fucking advice now and surrounding myself with people that make me smile. And you’re not one of them.

I’ll tell my kids about you one day, and laugh and wonder where you are. But that’s about as much as I ever want to have to do with you anymore.

Thankyou very much.

On a lighter note. I love you spring. I love you muffin break. I love you grevillea nurseries. I love you future. I love you smile, I’ve missed you.

“I wake up to find it's another
Four aspirin morning, and I dive in
I put on the same clothes I wore yesterday.
When did society decide that we had to change
And wash a tee shirt after every individual use:
If it's not dirty, I'm gonna wear it.”

I spent hours of my day before sitting in the long grass taking photos of butterflies and flowers. I haven’t been outside in so long, and that’s my happy place. As a kid it used to be where I’d go all the time to run around and frolic so going back out today was a real happy moment.

I got a call from muffin break, telling me I’ve got the job and I’m going in tomorrow to work out hours and bank details and things :) Plus working at the nursery on Sunday. Getting paid $11.18 an hour at muffin break. More than excited.

Cub stuff tonight. Then venturers. Boy oh boy scouts is taking over my life.

But man. I am happy. And I will go back to school next year. At least finish my VCE through home schooling, I have to. I’ve decided my dreams are the top thing right now. And I want to be a sound technician and work with live sound, and I can’t do that being under educated. Or at least not having that little piece of paper to waggle in people’s faces. But really, I can do this.