and I hate to say it, But I’m slowly getting back to happy.

I like everything at the moment.
I love smiling, I love being happy, I love talking getting myself back in touch with the people who used to make me happy and I lost touch with, I love listening to those bands, those ones that make me smile and feel whole inside, I love having a clean room knowing my best friend is coming home tomorrow, and I love just sitting on the couch with my dog.

I’m  loving this. I really am. I think I’m getting back to happy…

Even though I smell like balloons right now, and the weather is epic shit, I can do this, I can smile.

So taryn comes back tomorrow, finally. And for the first time ever dad’s actually agreed to letting someone come live with me for a few days.
He seriously never lets anyone do this, but it’s his easy way out of me going to sydney if she comes here.

I really can’t wait. It’s been so long man, Now I get to just spend a few days and nights with her not having to stress about anything else. She’s just…here. Which means dad will be on his best behaviour, and I get to have someone to chill with no matter which way I turn. And it’s my best friend. Ah. Loving it.

Music’s really consuming me again, seriously, I’m loving the fact that I can listen to music again. Before it was really really nothing in my life, except concerts, and even then it didn’t have the same kick. I never had the time for it being at school. Normally I’d sit down and listen to it in a bad mood and it’d be my support, but I was so far past that, I was way too drained to even listen to music, and now I’m crawling back up. I love it. I love smiling and being myself.

So for now, fuck everyone else, I’m really really happy. And please world, don’t take that away from me. I need this for once. I really really do.

End of negativity, in comes positive thinking.
I hate being upset. So why should I?

“And it's happened once again
I'll turn to a friend
Someone that understands
Sees through the master plan
But everybody's gone
And I've been here for too long
To face this on my own
Well I guess this is growing up”

Time to smile man. I'm finally fucking working out.

Oh and I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you, and I don’t like hearing you say those things, but I guess I can’t do it anymore. To all of you, all of you that say these things about me, that I can’t say back. I’m so sorry. I wish I could, but I don’t love like that anymore. I can’t. I can’t just turn off and hurt you. But we can still be friends, and all of you, I’m still here to listen to anything you have to rant to me about. I do love you, just, not like that.
I hate to hear you say things like that, knowing I caused that, and I’m so sorry. I wish we could just go back to the way things were before. Before aaaall this.

I just had to say sorry. I feel terrible about this all. You still mean something to me. Just not that. Please, don’t think this is your fault.

Anyway, back to smiling. I am most definitely. Most definitely feeling that happy thing again. Wherever you have been. I like it.